You may or may not follow me on popular pic posting site, "Instagram". Yet, an unlikely request came through an unlikely avenue recently when I was approached via "Instagram" and asked to write an article for an online newsletter catered to Feminists.
Needless to say, I was beyond flattered.
My article was published this month and I thought that I would share it with you.
Please feel free to repost and comment, in addition to visiting feministwednesday.com....those ladies are awesome:)
My Phenomenal Unearthing of Feminism & Self Efficacy
I discovered that I was a feminist,
somewhat by accident. I can recall the moment quite vividly now as I sit in a
local café typing these words. It all began on a typically humid South Florida evening.
A friend and I had RSVP’d to attend a popular nightclub in Miami Beach.
Although my friend had opted to dress in high heeled shoes as I usually did,
that night, I chose to wear flat dress thong sandals. As we approached the
“velvet ropes” of the venue, I was rather abruptly told by the doorman that I
could not enter due to my footwear. I was baffled. I glanced down at my feet;
nicely pedicured toes, black sandals adorned with crystals. The doorman stated
that I would not be allowed entry because I was wearing flat shoes.
Although I was mildly disappointed, I
remained in a jovial mood and proceeded to ask the doorman a situational
question; suppose I’d recently suffered an injury that prevented me from
wearing high heeled shoes? “Then stay
home” the doorman replied “you’re a woman, you should know better”. Well there
went my jovial mood. After a few more unpleasant exchanges, my friend and I
turned around and walked back to our parked car. I was furious. To add injury
to insult, when I repeated the details of the incident to a male relative, he
agreed with the doorman. Seriously?
In the weeks following, I contacted civil
rights attorneys, feminists groups and city officials alike. I wanted
retribution. I wanted the doorman to suffer. I wanted an end to the sexist
expectation that seemed to taint the nightlife experience. However, in the end,
I got nowhere. Nightclubs are considered private venues that allow public
access. Therefore, they are given permission to discriminate on whatever
grounds they so choose. Darn it.
As the months passed, I came to three
important conclusions. First, the doorman of the nightclub is a misogynistic
jerk. Second, the male relative mentioned above is a misogynistic jerk. Third,
I am a feminist. I am a feminist because there are days that I do not feel like
wearing make-up or flat ironing my hair. I am a feminist because I believe in
“Alpha Females”. I am a feminist because I believe in a woman’s right to
choose; not just what she will wear, where she works, what she buys or where
she lives. I am a feminist because I am not docile, agreeable, nurturing,
selfless, kind or sexy unless I want to be. I am a feminist because I love
dresses & high heels but I am most comfortable in denim jeans &
motorcycle boots. I am a feminist because my life goals do not rely on marriage
or motherhood. I am a feminist because I am a human being before I am a woman
and as a human being, I am entitled to the same freedoms, joys, sorrows,
accomplishments, woes & challenges as any other human being; male or
female.
It took me a while to get here. Being
raised by a single mother who eventually would own her own company did nothing
for my self esteem. Neither did my endless array of relationships. I had to fight for it myself. There were times
where I worried that I was not dating/wife material because I did not act like,
dress like, think like or look like the women that men hang posters of or tweet
about. Until one day, I decided that I would be healthier & happier if I
would just be myself. And so I did. Now, I am a woman who is not afraid to
swear like a sailor or giggle like a school girl when it’s appropriate. And
I’ve found the courage to enjoy this journey alone, until I discover someone
that is just as human.
http://feministwednesday.com/my-phenomenal-unearthing-of-feminism-self-efficacy/
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